The automotive world is about to be revolutionised following the sensational announcement that a car giant has pioneered the development of the first rubber car. The first prototype is currently undergoing circuit testing and the first batch will be emerging from the production lines or should this be the injection moulds by late 2017.
In the century or so that cars have dominated the modern world, it has always been a given, that the only real contact intended for cars is with the road and through the tyres. Indeed if any other forms of physical contact is made, then the proverbial exchange of insurance company’s personal details, as well as high level profanities will shortly follow! The reality is that with the proliferation of cars, the number of bollards, width restrictions, traffic light posts and warning sites adorning the high roads of planet earth, these have merely accelerated the invitation for cars to crash.
In a rare interview Dr. Rab Dub of this eponymous car giant, stated that “we saw this as a real response to a market need. For years we have merely accepted that it is alright for cars to crash, fuelling the needs of a host of new industries, built around the knowledge that humans will be humans. After all, you wouldn’t expect the same for locomotives, cruise liners or aeroplanes would you? “
Dr. Rab Dub went on to say “following some fundamental market research we discovered that humans really want to be able to multi task when they were behind the wheel of a car and this was the road to Damascus moment for our creative scientists.”
The extraordinary findings of this ground breaking research was based on a poll of 5,000 people in 3 different continents over 10 years and has effectively driven a coach and horses through the concept of vehicle health and safety.
The findings are shown in the table below and summarise what people want to be able to do whilst driving a car:
| · 34% talk on a phone· 25% text
· 15% apply make up · 10% have a shave and remove facial hair using tweezers · 9% read a book/newspaper/ tablet · 6% surf the net · 1% stroke a pet |
Clearly the future evolutionary path of mankind involves extreme task juggling in various shapes or forms and needs to be taken seriously and in this case Dr. Rab Dub is quick to point out the vast benefits.
“Project bounce has had a 10-year gestation period and we believe it is now ready to meet its audience. The fact that we now have a vehicle that can be crashed regularly and with impunity wouldn’t merely be of benefit to Top Gear’s presenters… past, present or future! Just think how much traffic flow would be improved if people stopped rubber necking and just bounced off each other and kept going. Rebound and away would be the strap line and an added comical boing noise would resonate deeply and could frankly create a market as stellar as ringtones were in the noughties”
Clearly a great deal of these market needs will now be provided by Google’s driverless car offering a safer digital solution to what was frankly always going to be nothing more than a piece of April hokum or should that be …dodgem!
